First Gay Wedding

Only a few weeks after the Supreme Court announced that same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states, I went to my first gay wedding.

It was also my first “stranger wedding”–I didn’t know either of the grooms or anyone at the event besides my date, so I felt like a neutral observer. In fact, I felt myself evaluating the day Four Weddings-style.

Four Weddings is one of my guilty pleasure TLC shows in which four brides attend each others’ weddings and evaluate the day in four categories: food, venue, dress, and overall experience. 

gay wedding cakeFood

Mediocre buffet primarily composed of pasta (spinach & mushroom cannelloni, chicken lasagna, sausage rigatoni). Cake also subpar. Wine and champagne were wonderful. 3/10.


The wedding was held at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland. I’d never been there, and the art on the walls was gorgeous. Their theme of turquoise/gold was everywhere but not in a tacky way. It was fairly crowded and there wasn’t much room to move around. 8/10.


Nonexistent. 0/10. (Their suits were lovely though.)

Overall Experience

Because there wasn’t any room for a dance floor, there wasn’t much dancing. Weddings are made for dancing, and I was itching to bust a move. But despite the lack of dancing, we weren’t bored. During dinner a handful of drag queens put on a show (the only time when the gay-ness of the wedding was apparent), and then karaoke covered the rest of the evening.

karaoke with a ukelele

This guy brought out the ukelele for his song.

This isn’t your average karaoke though–these people were belting out tough notes, working the room, playing instruments. These people had prepared for karaoke and they were amazing. Like, professional-quality. Each singer was more intimidatingly excellent than the last. I hardly even missed the dancing.

What surprised me about this wedding was how traditional it was, given its inherently untraditional nature. Aside from the drag queens bringing in gay culture and the lack of females in the wedding party, it was pretty standard. The husbands promised to love and cherish each other until death do them part. They had a first dance and were joined by other couples. They did the bouquet and garter toss (one serving in the “bride” role, the other in the “groom” role).

I think that normalcy is important to point out. Marriage equality activists emphasize how same-sex marriage is just like heterosexual marriage–it’s about love and unity and commitment. Gender is insignificant. And this wedding is proof of that.


gay wedding party

For more of my Firsts series, check out First Visit to Michigan and First Poetry Open Mic.  

14 thoughts on “First Gay Wedding

  1. yes, it is indeed about love and unity and commitment. Coming from India, i have a hard time explaining people, how being gay is not wrong in any possible way (i’m not gay though, just supporting their cause :) )


  2. Haven’t been to one yet though one of my gay friends married quietly in another state before our state allowed it. Of course, now it is federal law. I assumed the ceremony would be mostly the same and the emotions the same.
    Susan Says


  3. Pingback: First Geocache | Victim to Charm

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