I Remember #1

I remember looking under the dining room table and finding a pastel basket filled with ten dimes, a handful of jellybeans, and a package of Peeps.

I remember taking a wrong turn and preparing to fend for myself on the freeway on-ramp.

I remember being his manic pixie dream girl.

I remember silent tears dripping onto the sheets of my Portuguese hotel room, wanting and needing only to hear from my best friend.

I remember looking at my hands and wondering whether that dark red juice came from my veins or the freshly picked blackberries.

I remember stooping to his level of deception and not feeling an ounce of remorse.

I remember being excited that they invited me, hoping that by finally becoming a last resort maybe soon I would be a priority.

I remember finding a shirt I liked and insisting on buying it in multiple colors.

I remember touching a drop of holy water to my tongue, mystified that it tasted so impure.

I remember my panic when he didn’t appear online, realizing I had no connection to his life but him, and now he was gone without explanation.

I remember dotting blue and red paint to the paper as it slowly formed into a jellyfish.

I remember putting in my earphones and wishing nobody would sit next to me, later becoming great friends with my unwelcome bus buddy.

I remember when she told me she planned to overdose at summer camp.

I remember the ungodly amounts of scotch tape my grandmother used to adhere red and green wrapping paper to our Mattel dolls and new sweaters.

I remember the cold leather chilling my back and how unashamedly frigid I was towards him.

I remember my first college care package, which came to me from the mom of the roommate I barely talked to and not my own mother.

I remember telling them I had dinner plans, but didn’t say they were with a bowl of leftover spaghetti and the rhythmic clang of my jean buttons beating against the dryer wall.

Inspired by Suzie81 Speaks and part of the Weekly Writing Challenge: Memoir Madness.

Liked this? Read I Remember #2.

37 thoughts on “I Remember #1

  1. Pingback: I Remember the Falling Rain | Ramisa the Authoress

    • When I was writing it I was trying to balance the disturbing ones with the less disturbing ones, but life has hard moments that are easier to remember than the simple joys and this captures it well.


  2. I love the scotch tape ‘remember’ about your Grandma. My Grandma did the exact same thing, which could be so frustrating for little hands. I find that I now wrap all of my presents exactly the same way. It was always worth the wait…


  3. Pingback: Court fixing up the past | litadoolan

  4. Probably my favorite post from you yet – so poignant and well-written. Not too flowery but also packed with emotion. I agree with another commenter that you could turn this into a series; each snapshot leaves me wanting more.


  5. Pingback: I Remember #2 | Victim to Charm

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  7. Pingback: I Remember | A Momma's View

  8. Pingback: I Remember #3 | Victim to Charm

  9. Pingback: I Remember | Victim to Charm

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