1. Because true intellectuals can use proper grammar. 2. Because I can’t tell how much of this is a lie and how much is the truth.  3. Because Asa smokes kittens. 4. Because I have no idea what’s going on in this bio. 5. Or this one.  6. Because Shane makes unnecessary acronyms. 7. Because I don’t use people for their Costco memberships. 8. Because Sean’s…