1. Because true intellectuals can use proper grammar.
2. Because I can’t tell how much of this is a lie and how much is the truth.
3. Because Asa smokes kittens.
4. Because I have no idea what’s going on in this bio.
5. Or this one.
6. Because Shane makes unnecessary acronyms.
7. Because I don’t use people for their Costco memberships.
8. Because Sean’s a player.
9. Because I’m not hipster enough for a guy who’s probably equally mainstream.
10. Because I don’t have the slightest idea how to say his name.
11. Because Jordan loves his sport so much that he keeps it a secret.
12. Because I’m not an acolyte.
13. Because A-roll is having an identity crisis.
14. Because this is what James is doing with his Cornell education.
15. Because I like pizza.
16. Because I love oatmeal raisin cookies.
17. Because no.
For more Tinder posts, check out 15 Guys You’ll Meet on Tinder and The Boys of Tinder. Or read about the time my Tinder date pulled out a gun.
Victim to Charm 
Have you tried Bumble? Someone from my writing group just wrote an article on Medium about why he’s switched from Tinder.
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Hmm I haven’t!! I’ve heard of Hinge but never tried it. It’s more for entertainment value than genuinely trying to find someone at this point.
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Uhm, yeah, really? I have no reason to look at Tinder, but maybe I should if it’s this funny…
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It’s hilarious!! I wonder if it’s especially funny in my age bracket though.
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I’m tempted to download this to see what comes up in my age group (hint: twice your age :D ) but then I worry about being on someone’s blog myself LOL
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I’ve wondered about that too but I can’t really complain given that I’ve done the same!
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Ok, I am just going to scrap my “how to write a killer dating profile” I wrote a few weeks back because these guys just nailed it. I sympathise with the guy who doesn’t share his pizza though :)
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The pizza guy sounds more like Joey. “joey doesn’t share food” lol
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I’m happy to get twice the pizza!!
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Yesss. These were fantastic! I feel your pain. Check out my last blog about the great messages my friends and I have received recently!
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I’ve gotten some bizarre first messages too! Good work there :)
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I swipe on Tinder just so I can read guys’ bios! hahaha this is hilarious
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A lot of time I do too! They’re just so funny.
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who am I kidding?!
After all, I’m dating a guy who’s bio was about finding a stoner friend to smoke up with… lmao
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Ha!! I hope he’s got more substance than just that (pun semi-intended).
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haha… oh yes, he does :)
a stoner maybe, but a sweetheart definitely :)
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Hey I don’t share food too. And plus I’ll probably take your food too. Now that’s mean thing to do. :P
BTW does anyone ever actually meet someone good on tinder?
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Same. I met one of my best friends on Tinder actually, and I’ve met a handful of other cool people.
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Even on Tinder, one can’t escape the FriendZone ;) :P
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I don’t really believe in the friend zone, actually. It implies that friendship is a consolation prize, or that one person is mean for not reciprocating feelings. For the record, we both decided we only saw each other as friends.
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It was a joke sabina. Chill chill
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Jokes perpetuate culture by normalizing it–something to be aware of.
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